I just stole this off of Aikiweb. Need a definition for "rotfl"

Aikido Definitions
Aikido: The way of blending energy. The Aikidoka (one who practices Aikido) attempts to become one with the mat by being thrown into it repeatedly in the hope that s/he will merge with the mat. This usually doesn't happen, so the process must be repeated. Frequently.

Matte: "te" = hand, "mat" is obvious, so "mat" "te" is the art of hand-stands and walking on hands. Sometimes this results in unsuccessful blending with the mat which causes the Aikidoka to have to blend with the mat while wearing a cast. This is much harder, as the cast prevents the Aikidoka from reaching the mat.

Kiai-do: Dyslexic Aikido. Also known as "drunken Aikido", this is usually practised in bars, accompained by much shouting.

Ukemi: The art of hurling yourself at the Earth for no good reason.

Slapping out: This is the sign of an unsuccesful blending with the mat. The Aikidoka is so frustrated at not blending with the mat that s/he will hit the mat in a futile attempt to blend. It is futile because all Aikidoka know that true blending with the mat only occurs at high speed.

Nage-waza: The art of helping others to blend with the mat - the other part of what Aikidoka study.

Randori: Mispronunciation of "runned away". This is the optimal method of blending with multiple attackers.

Shodan(male): A male who is so adept at blending (and helping others to blend) that he can wear a skirt to class and nobody in class will laugh at him because he might help them learn to blend with the mat. At high velocity.

Hakama: What shodans call a skirt so they don't have to teach quite as many people to blend with the mat (see Shodan(male)).

Atemi: What you use to convince uke that your Aikido is strong enough to deal with their attack.

Shihans: Can't live with 'em; can't throw 'em.

Alternative Technique Definitions
Ikkyo: Grab their arm, affect their center.

Nikkyo: Grab their arm differently, affect their center.

Sankyo: Grab their arm differently, affect their center.

Yonkyo: Grab their arm differently, inflict pain, affect their center.

Gokyo: Grab their arm differently but a lot like Ikkyo, affect their center.

Rokkyo: A confection made with almond paste. If you eat too much it will affect your center.

Irimi nage: Don't grab their arm, affect their center.

Shihonage: Kotegaeshi on steroids.

Kotegaeshi: Sankyo on the wrong hand.

Kaiten nage: Sankyo while rotating the z axis to the xy plane. Countergrab their arm, affect their center. Alternately known as "cheap date waza".

Tenchi nage: Iriminage on both sides at the same time.

Koshi nage: Iriminage for those with ADS (Altitude Deficit Syndrome).